What Andy Reid and the Trappist Monks Taught Me About Life
This commentary first appeared as a guest post on the site of my friend Rob Brancatelli. He runs a website that features thoughtful posts on a variety of topics, and you can visit it here:
Long before his Super Bowl championship days with the Kansas City Chiefs, Andy Reid spent a number of years coaching my home town Philadelphia Eagles. He had some success in those years, but could never manage to win that Big Game. The Philly sports writers and fans were a tough lot, and quite a bit of tension began to surface by the year 2003.
I was a season ticket holder, and attended most home games in those years. During the drive home after games, I would listen on the radio to the press conference that every coach was required to hold with the press at the conclusion of each game. Reed hated those, he glared at the writers with barely disguised contempt and simply endured the press conference.
On one particular day, the game was close in the fourth quarter. As I recall, the Eagles had the ball on about the opponents 43 yard line, 4th and four to go with only two or three minutes left on the clock. They trailed by four points, so needed a touchdown to pull the game out. The obvious question was: do they go for the first down or do they punt, try to pin the opponent back at their goal line, hold them on downs to get the ball back, and then take one more shot at the game-winning touchdown.
The fans (and players) were screaming for Reid to go for the first down, but Reid decided to punt. Long story short: the Eagles never got the ball back, and the game ended.
Listening to the press conference afterward, I heard Reid explain his rationale to a seething press corps. He explained that every year in June he and the assistant coaches would spend several days in a quiet conference room, thinking about every situation they were likely to encounter in a game that coming year.
For each situation, they discussed things such as the time left on the clock, how well the opposing team and Eagles were playing on offense and defense, etc. Then they would decide on the proper play call for that situation. In this case, amid the fever pitch of the game, the decision was to punt – the option that they selected back in the quiet conference room. In this case, he said, it just didn’t work out. But he had no regrets on the decision, or how he made it.
I thought about that response a lot in the following months. I had just finished a 30-year career in the chemical industry with FMC Corporation, and embarked on a second career in academia at Ursinus College, a local liberal arts institution. The kids were grown and gone, and I was wondering what the next phase of my life should/would look like. It occurred to me that having a guiding set of principles, like the guidelines that Andy had that season, would be helpful as I thought through alternatives.
The following year, I made the first of five weeklong retreats over the next two decades at a Trappist Monastery in Massachusetts. For those not familiar with the Trappists, they are a congregation of monks who lead a life of asceticism, prayer and self-support (I highly recommend trying the Trappist Preserves at breakfast).
I found the Trappists to be impressive men, well educated and perceptive. They helped me greatly in my visits with them over the years, and provided excellent sounding boards for my thoughts.
The result was the development of a Personal Mission Statement during the 2004 Retreat, only slightly modified at subsequent retreats. I use the principles of this Mission Statement to help guide my actions, especially in times of indecision.
As it now stands, the Mission Statement is made up of the following five principles:
- Be an active source of love, support and friendship – to family and friends.
- Read, listen and learn – to broaden my horizons.
- Seek to better understand my relationship to God, through an ongoing effort to deepen my spiritual life.
- Share my knowledge and experience with others – through writing, music and mentoring.
- Live simply, serenely and soberly – eat healthfully, exercise daily, consume resources sparingly, and try to relax.
There have been other insights I have gleaned in this decades-long process, including a deeper understanding of what I am and who I am (these are different, actually).
I refer to this set of principles on a regular basis, to help me channel my thoughts and energies in a way that will hopefully be helpful to others, and stimulate continued growth in myself. In a world of conflict and rancor, this just may help.
Each person who decides to create a Personal Mission Statement will, of course, have a different set of principles, and they may change over time. But just having them can assist in better self-awareness and a deeper understanding of relationships with others.